When Your Emotions Mess with Your Sex

When Your Emotions Mess with Your Sex

While hormones play a powerful role in your libido, your emotions can also cause your libido suffer, just like I mentioned this article for Lioness. Too many of my clients have let themselves suffer with unsatisfied sex for too long, yet they felt obligated to please their partners no matter how uncomfortable it felt. Some do say that once they get into the act, the renewal of intimacy enabled them to enjoy, but the initial step is hard to overcome.

Body issues may cause women to feel ashamed, nervous, or just plain unsexy. Weight changes, wrinkles, sagging, and having had children can trigger a lot of anxiety. When you’re no longer comfortable in your own skin, and feeling unable to be vulnerable and honest with your partner, every attempt at intimacy can feel like the first time. ((Awkward!))

Fear may also be an issue, especially because women find themselves too nervous to ask for what they want or guide their partner to help them reach orgasm. Some women lack the basic understanding of anatomy in order to understand where their pleasure zones are, while others have a misconception of how sex should be performed. After all, most of us learned about sex from the movies.

You should never feel pressured or guilty for not wanting to have sex. There are plenty of alternatives to the actual act of intercourse, such as foreplay, cuddling, massage, and other intimate acts. I recommend exploring these with your partner to build trust and intimacy, and to start the conversation about how to please you.

Getting your body primed and ready for sex, making sure lubrication is happening, and being sure that you both feel comfortable moving to the next step are all about communication, understanding, and respect.

Regardless of your libido, your emotional state can greatly affect your sex drive and sexual satisfaction. Here are some tricks using essential oils that you can do to get in the mood:


Make a massage oil blend and have your partner give you a full body massage using the oil of your choice. The scent will help you to relax and the touch of your partner will help you get in the mood. Do this at least once a week.

The Big-O Massage Oil Blend

  • 12 drops Clary Sage essential oil
  • 12 drops Lavender essential oil
  • 6 drops Ylang Ylang essential oil
  • Add essential oils recipe to 6 teaspoons of oil in a small bottle, I prefer sweet almond oil or fractioned coconut oil, and gently massage into skin.


My favorite libido boosting supplements can be found at your local vitamin store. A daily regimen of my faves in addition to your multi and you will notice an increase in energy as a result of your mood and hormones being supported by this combination.

  • Chasteberry 500 mg daily
  • B-vitamin Complex
  • Maca 1500 mg in your green smoothie
  • Calcium + Magnesium 1000 mg combined per day


Reducing sugar intake by focusing on savory meals, especially for breakfast and snacks. Substitute coffee for matcha almond milk lattes or yerba mate.

Everyone deserves to enjoy sex. Craving it, relishing it, desiring it– these are all normal sensations. Learning to express your desires and communicate intimately with your partner are all positive steps toward reviving the emotional side of your libido. I want you to stop feeling like sex is an obligation and start seeing it as a life-affirming, pleasurable, intimacy-enhancing adventure.

If you like this article, please share it with your friends on social media and in real life. If you want to talk more about how to enjoy your life and sex a little more, schedule your complimentary consultation with me today.