Getting it on pain-free can be a distant memory for women living with endometriosis. The pain that endometriosis can cause during sex can definitely be reason enough for some women to say that the Big O isn’t even worth it.
Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to that which makes up the uterine lining grows outside the uterus and on other organs surrounding the uterus. Let me say that again, the tissue is similar to the tissue that makes up the uterine lining. It is NOT that the uterine lining grows outside the uterus or elsewhere. The condition causes very painful heavy periods and sometimes painful ovulation, pain with sex, abdominal pain, and sometimes infertility.
Why does Endometriosis cause pain with intercourse?
More commonly, the endometriosis is found at the lower back portion (posterior) of the uterus. This is where, with penetrative sex, thrusting hits the nerve near where the most endometrial lesions are located, setting off pain triggers. Here are some things you can do to make sex a more positive experience if you have endo pain with sex.
Tips for Sex with Endometriosis
- Cycle Syncing Start tracking your cycle to get a map of the phases of your cycle and you most likely find a correlation of when your endometriosis symptoms flare up. I know, for some women, the endometrial symptoms are constant. And, for some women, only during ovulation and/or excruciating during her period. Cycle syncing might give you more insight into your symptoms and other areas of your lifestyle. Some of my favorite period apps are Clue and My FloTracker.
- Lube it Up Using a good water-based or silicone lube will help keep things more comfortable down there while you’re getting it on. Vaginal dryness is a very common symptom of endometriosis and can cause painful sex in and of itself.
- Sex Toys Yup, I said sex toy. I was recently interviewed by Cosmo (pinch me!) on sex toys for endo so I’m pretty sure I know what I’m talking about. Read it here. Using a chilled crystal wand or glass sex toy, with plenty of lube, gives relief to the inflammation caused by your endometriosis. Use the toy as foreplay to penetration or skip penetration all together as an alternative to intercourse.
- Positions When it comes to sex with endometriosis, or any type of pelvic pain, positioning is key. Being on top of your partner gives you more control than missionary or “doggy style.” Communicate with your partner that deep penetration doesn’t feel good and that you want slow thrusting. Only you know so find the position that works for you!
- Alternatives to Intercourse Sex doesn’t have to mean intercourse. Foreplay, massage, kissing, mutual masturbation, mutual fondling, and other arousing alternatives to penetration can bring you and your partner closer together without triggering your symptoms. Talk with your partner about the stuff that turns you on, and experiment with all the many activities that can bring you pleasure. Get creative and have some fun.
The women I work with tell me that Endometriosis has had such a negative affect on their sex lives and has caused too many relationship breakups. Girlfriend, it doesn’t have to be this way.
If you liked this article, please share it on your social and with your girlfriends who may be struggling with Endometriosis. Click on the contact page to schedule your complimentary consultation with me today so that you can start having better sex and better periods!