Orgasms can help reduce stress, improve your skin health, and make you feel, well, pretty fucking awesome. However, for many women, orgasms — especially those achieved through penetration — can be just as elusive as the mysterious G spot.
Only about 18 percent of women achieve orgasm through penetration alone — meaning no clit stim. More often than not, clitoral stimulation is required, or at least beneficial, when it comes to orgasming during sex.
What is the G-Spot?
You’ve probably heard of the G spot, along with how it’s the “magic potion” to achieving an earth-shattering vaginal orgasm. But is it real? Let’s explore because honestly, it’s complicated.
In 1950, German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg described a distinct erotic region on the inner upper wall of the vagina. Since that time, the G-spot has remained the subject of scientific and sexual controversy. It was discovered by Dr. Beverly Whipple after she discovered that using a “come here” motion along the inside of the vagina produced a physical response in women. She believed that this region could be the key to women achieving orgasm during sex.
It’s important to point out that the G spot isn’t actually a distinct part of your anatomy. It’s a spot located inside your vagina, thought to be part of your clitoral network.
This means that when you’re stimulating the G spot, you’re actually stimulating part of the clitoris, which is much larger than we’re led to believe. Turns out, the pea-sized nub where the inner labia meet is actually only the tip of the clitoris and divides into two “roots” that can be about four inches long. There’s so much more to it but that’s a conversation for another day.
Plus, this region can vary from woman to woman which explains why it can often be difficult to locate. However, once it’s stimulated, the G spot can cause female ejaculation (yes, it’s real) and help women reach vaginal orgasm.
Finding the G spot can be difficult, especially since it’s not actually on any diagrams of the human body. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Instead of searching for it during sex with a partner, it’s easier to locate the G spot through self-exploration.
If you’re looking to find your G spot, start by relaxing. As you begin to explore your body, do what feels best to you. When you’re ready, begin massaging the opening to your vagina before inserting your fingers or a sex toy, like the Ioba Super Silent G-spot Stimulator. Use my coupon code, Friends25. You’re so welcome!
Then, using your fingers or a toy, lift upward toward your belly button in a “come hither” motion–but don’t curl your fingers, just lift them. Remember, you’re not trying to hit a specific button but rather finding what feels best for you in that general region. Repeat the motion as the sensation builds, and — instead of an in-and-out movement — you’ll want to keep focusing your attention on this area.
Like other erogenous zones, preferences can vary from person to person. In fact, a 2016 reviewTrusted Source emphasized that orgasms are not one-size-fits-all, so there’s no right or wrong way to orgasm. We all like our orgasms just like we like our coffee–unique to us.
Not all women will find satisfaction through G spot stimulation, and that’s fine too. Remember that masturbation is completely normal and it can be a healthy part of any relationship. By taking time to explore your own preferences, you can use that information to instruct your partner on what you enjoy most during sex.
What are the best sex positions to stimulate the G spot?
If you’re hoping to experience G spot stimulation during sexual intercourse, there are certain sex positions that work best. Try positions that allow you a little more control over your movements so you can figure out what types of stimulation you enjoy most. While there are many sex positions that can help you achieve this, here are three to try.
Cowgirl Have your partner lay on their back, then climb on top and straddle them. This position allows you complete control over the rhythm, depth, and angle of penetration so you can focus on finding your G spot.
Instead of bobbing up and down, try moving back and forth to stimulate the G spot region against your inner vaginal wall. Mixing it up can help as well, so don’t be afraid to experiment with different speeds and angles.
Doggy Style Doggy style is another great way to achieve deeper penetration during sex. It’s easy to vary the angle to hit your G spot.
Start on your hands and knees with your partner behind you. During penetration, try leaning down on your forearms or pushing your hips backward to change the angle until you find the position that works best for you. If you’d like, you can try a different variation by lying flat on your stomach with your legs hanging off the edge of the bed, allowing your partner to stand behind you and penetrate from there.
Closed Missionary Position A variation on the classic missionary position, this position allows for greater stimulation without the depth of penetration. You’ll start off on your back in missionary position before moving your legs together. Then, your partner’s legs should straddle yours, allowing a tighter squeeze. While this shallow penetration that might not hit as deep, it does create a tighter feeling — and more increased friction against your G spot — which might be the perfect way to help you reach orgasm.
Find what works for you
Despite what you might see in movies, sex isn’t always quick and easy. Like I always say, porn is not sex education. Women are often led to believe that sex is shameful, which can make it harder to achieve orgasm and sexual satisfaction.
Don’t be afraid to take charge of your sex life and find what you like. If that means you’re able to find your G spot and rock it, good for you. If not? That’s great too. There’s no rule that says there’s one way to orgasm, and — for most women — it’s normal to prefer a combination of efforts. Finding what works for you can take time, so be patient.
What’s your favorite way to reach an orgasm?
Nicole Buratti is an internationally recognized Sex Expert. She is a sex writer and speaker. Nicole is available for private sex, dating, and relationship coaching. Connect with her HERE.
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