Yay for WAP!

Yay for WAP!

I was super stoked to open Twitter and read all the tweets about the controversial “WAP,” Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s recently released homage to female sexuality and vaginal, shall we say, lubrication.

Sex talk on Twitter? My daily life’s norm. Controversy on social media over women’s sexual health? Also my norm. Moms clutching their pearls over what their teenagers might hear from the speakers? Unfortunately, the norm of our culture.

I get it. I’m a mom, too. As a mom, I have learned to accept that my children will learn about sex in the media. But, it’s my job to teach my children the real definition of sex.

How did we learn about sex when we were teenagers? Usually by finding our parents’ porn and sticking it in the VCR. I mean, for real! Was that sex? No. Porn is not sex education. It’s entertainment. Done right, with movies like Lust Cinema, it can be an empowering experience.

WAP,” by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion is different.

As a sex consultant for thousands of women over the years, I know that so many of my clients have been self-conscious of their WAP. These women don’t have an itch or an odor. They don’t have pain with sex. They have no symptom other than their concern about the volume of their vaginal discharge or that they’re overly lubricated during sex. Or both.

The cruelty and damaging messages we receive from various sources — partners, mothers, men, friends, magazines and social media — all because of a system built and maintained (often by those without vaginas) that revolves around the culture of the problematic, shameful and, yes, wet vagina.

So, kudos to Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion for normalizing the WAP. Plus, I love all the lyrics and the beat. Overall, it’s a pretty freaking awesome song.

If vaginal lubrication were celebrated, then female masturbation wouldn’t be taboo, and both women and men would learn in sex education that the increased blood flow to the vaginal tissues allows fluid to leak across the cells, resulting in an additional 3 to 5 milliliters of lubrication.

Needing or liking lubricant isn’t a sign of personal failure. “Because,” according to Dr. Jen Gunter, “women are also shamed when they are not wet enough at the exact moment the penis is ready for intercourse.”

Lube is like skincare for down there. I highly recommend it for your pussy.

To be a woman and to partner with men is to constantly walk the edge of the knife between too wet and too dry. Gush on command, but not too much because then you’re promiscuous or gross or both.

Dr. Jen Gunter, New York Times

My thoughts on “WAP”? I don’t think “WAP” is going to take down the patriarchy, improve sex education or end predatory feminine hygiene practices, but talking about it is an empowering next step.

Let’s get busy on that next step.

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